I used to cry at night
For pains not easily forgotten.
I used to lie awake and let my agonies
Trail down my cheeks like soothing rivers.
I used to carve my miseries
Into lined pages with a brightly-colored pen.
I used to cry for the empty spaces
Left by goodbyes.
I used to let tears flow
And wash away a boy’s unwanted touch.
I used to whisper the same awful words to myself
That had been left in my memory by another’s voice.
I used to cry for the mysterious pain
That emerged as the darkness whispered.
I used to wonder how anyone could survive
When bridges, knives, and winding roads existed.
I used to consider all of those smiling faces
And sob because I didn’t belong with them.
Tonight, I pine for the evils of the world
That I knew would never heal.
Tonight, I ache for those who bleed
At the mercy of forces they cannot stop.
Tonight, I cry because somewhere, I know
My student cries the same.