First things first, I apologize for forgetting to post last Saturday. I completely forgot until Monday afternoon. I’m terribly sorry.
Now, for the primary topic of this post. As many of you know, yesterday was the famed April Fool’s Day. This is a day for light-hearted pranks and general carnage.
I truly love this particular day as it allows me to work out all my creativity in one massive attack on my loved ones.
This year, there were two main victims: Judy and Billy (a lovely engaged couple who share the misfortune of being my best friends) and Eric (my poor boyfriend who did not realize what he was getting himself into).
First, I enlisted Eric to help me prank Billy and Judy. We started by simply adding some red food dye to the spout of their sinks…
Then I stopped up every squeeze bottle in their house with plastic wrap…
This makes it so that the squeeze bottles can’t actually release their contents…
Literally every bottle, from their bath products to their condiments, received the plastic wrap treatment.
While I was doing this,
Eric took it upon himself to adhere googly eyes to as many products in their kitchen as he could.
Nothing was safe.
Even the eggs gained the ability to see into your soul.
Bottles should not appear to be so sentient.
We literally gave everything eyes.
Finally, we spent over an hour inflating balloons to fill their bathroom. We put just a touch of water in two of them to add a little splash to the popping experience…
I will post a link to a compilation of Billy’s Snapchat story at the end of this post. For now, I will tell you about what I am calling the Triple Brownie prank I pulled on Eric.
The first stage of this prank was to make a pan of brown E’s.
The second step took a bit more skill than just cutting out paper…
I had to first consume by decoy brownie (this action will be mentioned again in a few lines).
Then, I took a piece of kitchen sponge and frosted it (I forgot to get a picture prior to frosting the sponge).
I’m sure you can see where prank is headed! However, the above image does not strike me as a very professional brownie, the likes of which any Hannaford baker would have been proud to produce, so I added some chocolate chips as a garnish.
Finally, I secured it in the container I had purchased my decoy brownie in. Doesn’t it look delicious?
The first part of the Triple Brownie prank was initiated when I told Eric and my family that I had made a pan of brown E’s. Of course, they only found pieces of paper, shaped like E’s and smelling of sharpie (I didn’t have brown paper so I had to color them).
Then, I told Eric I had bought him a fancy brownie from Hannaford as a kind of consolation gift for surviving his first April Fool’s Day with me, the ultimate prankster. I presented him with the sponge brownie in its Hannaford container. I even wrapped the container in a plastic Hannaford bag to really sell it. He said it looked amazing, and attempted to dig in. Tragically (for him), he was met with the resistance of a fresh kitchen sponge rather than the delicate moisture of a fresh, delicious brownie.
The third part of the prank was initiated when my mother said, “You know, there was a brownie in that container at one point. So, there is a brownie around here somewhere.” Eric’s eyes lit up with a kind of maniacal greed, and he demanded that I give it to him.
Well, as you, my dear and favored readers know, I ate that brownie. Upon hearing this fact, Eric launched forth from his perch on the couch and charged me. Thankfully, I had seen the rage ignite in his eyes, and I, too, began running in an attempt to escape the tortured bull on my tail.
I thought I might find sanctuary behind the locked door of the bathroom, but I wasn’t quick enough. I made it through the door only to have my darling boyfriend crash into it as I slammed it shut. I dove behind the shower curtain, again hoping he would give up. Spoiler alert: he didn’t.
Instead, he turned on the shower. Being of significantly greater size and strength, he could easily keep me trapped beneath the torrent of water that soaked my clothes and chilled me to the bone.
This thrilling prank ended with both of us laughing uncontrollably, and he only holds a slight grudge because he never did get a brownie that day.
Thank you all for bearing through that outrageous story. I think I got a little carried away. As a consolation prize, I will gift you with the compilation of Billy’s Snapchat story from April Fool’s Day.